Pay it forward was a movie about a boy that took on a social studies experiment to try and do something to impact the world.  His idea?  To do something really big for 3 people, something they can’t do for themselves, and ask them to do the same for 3 people and so on.  Throughout the movie you see bits and pieces of how it worked without him realizing it.  One random acts of kindness kept spreading throughout his town and then state.  Pretty cool.  This week it struck me on how the opposite is true.  A couple random acts of misplaced words can lead to foul moods and sarcasm that spread to others.

My ears had the pleasure of hearing “You’re weird”, “Your quirky, but in a good way”.  Then there was the teacher that came in the staff room to tell me (with a big smile on her face) that her sister said I was a cute boy and asked if I was a “possibility” after looking at a picture the teacher took of the both of us.   Perfect.  Then I went down to Oot’s and she told me, “Colleen, not beautiful today”.  Sweet.  There were other random comments but the kicker was Saturday when Kari and I went to get a massage.

I had gotten my legs waxed before so my legs were sticky.  I told her so.  Then she made comments to her sidekick about them,  “Why didn’t she shower before she came?  I can’t do this, her legs are too sticky.”  She left a few times to try and remedy the situation which was a bottle of powder.  As she saturated my skin with the powder she told her friend that I should pay for the powder that she was using because she just bought it.  The funny thing is, you wear pants for a massage, she didn’t even need to touch my skin.  Anyway, then she told me that my skin wasn’t beautiful, that her skin was more beautiful than mine.  She asked how long I had been in Thailand and when I said 2 years, she asked me why I didn’t speak more Thai (even though she spoke no English and was saying all of this in Thai).  “If a Thai person went to Canada, the would speak English perfectly in 2 years.”  That’s great, I thought.  “You need to eat more fruit, vegetables, and milk so your skin will be beautiful.”  Then, when she was massaging my hands she told me they were really tense and that I played too many computer games.  I didn’t say anything to that.

My heart was more bruised when I left there than my worked over muscles.

I left there thinking of paying it forward.  Its true.  When I get hurt I selfishly want others to feel pain too…even if they weren’t the ones involved in my pain.  Why is that?  Its hard work to get beat up verbally and walk away without paying it forward, whether it be in sarcasm or in a foul mood.

I ask you for forgiveness if I have ever done the same…and I know I have.  Words are powerful. James 3 tells us how powerful they really are, they can light a forest on fire with one little spark, they are the bridle that can steer a horse, and a rudder that can steer a huge ship.  May I choose my words wisely and not pay it forward.