I Would Do the Same Thing!

Did you recently see the courtroom footage of the father who rushed the Olympic gymnastics team doctor who sexually assaulted dozens of girls including his very own daughters? The father actually asked the judge if he could have five minutes alone with the offender, even one minute. After the judge rejected his request the father rushed toward the man only to be immediately tackled by several deputies of the court.

I actually watched the footage while in the gym surrounded by several other men, fathers. They all said they would done exactly the same thing! And I can’t lie, I myself have two young daughters, and if I learned of the sexually gruesome details a man committed against them it would be very difficult to hold my composure.

But the question is, should that be our response? On the one hand, we can identify when victims respond to their victimization with immediate destructive behavior toward their offender, but on the other hand, doesn’t that immediate destructive behavior tell something of the person’s heart? In fact, how we respond to injustices exposes something so much more, it exposes the level of our own trust in God’s very justice. We want the gavel when God makes it very clear in Scripture that the gavel is his.

What about Combat Veterans?

But here’s a twist. What I find with most combat veterans is they will most likely never have the opportunity to lash out at their offender, to rush them in the court as it were. Sometimes they will never know who he is. They don’t know who shot them, who shot their buddy, or who laid the land mine the school children accidently walked upon. The offender is a ghost. And even if the combat vet knows the offender was killed, there’s the nagging thought that there are thousands of more maniacs like him out there.

So, what do the combat vets do now that he’s back home and off the battle field? Amongst his many internal turmoil’s, he may want justice, he may want vengeance, he wants to somehow undo what was destroyed. He obviously can’t lash out in destructive behavior toward the offender. He wants an outlet. And as counselors of traumatized combat victims many of us know where the outlet is unleashed. Its unleashed on the vet’s family, the wife, the kids, even the friends, or maybe the waiter who brought the wrong meal. Loved ones become the object of the destructive behavior as the vet sometimes has no other egress.

Like I said, on the one had we can somewhat understand the outbursts of anger or the destructive behavior. Combat is hard, the sights are hard, the smells are hard, the sounds are hard. Physiological, emotional, and spiritual changes were made in that soldier on the battlefield that we might not fully comprehend. But now he’s home, and his anger, his rage, his outbursts need to be tempered. And even as counselors, we must understand at this point that with man this impossible, but with God, all things are possible (Matt. 19:26).

From Burst of Anger to Acts of Love

Our ultimate hope for a broken soldier, marine, airman, or sailor sitting across from us is that he or she would grieve over the tragedies of war, but that they would also entrust the injustices to God’s courtroom while clinging themselves to the cross where their very own injustices are forgiven and they are made righteous before a holy God. But as we all know, bringing any victim to this place takes time. It takes work navigating and reclaiming a person’s jaded heart with a broken story to a place where they can see their story in all its redemption.

If I am dealing with a combat victim who is bursting out in anger toward loved ones or is having all around destructive behavior I typically address four overarching issues: First, I investigate their physical lifestyle. Some I find are not allowing themselves sufficient sleep, some are drinking or smoking heavily, some are addicted to opioids, some are binge eating, some are even addicted to porn. No doubt these types of lifestyles are feeding (or at least not helping temper) their rage. And when I make those types of physical observations to a combat victim who is dealing with anger issues it’s amazing to see their posture change and agree that those lifestyle choices probably aren’t helping their situation!

Second, I want to bring them to a place where they understand their combat experience isn’t their greatest problem, a life without Christ is. “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God” (John 3:18). Yes, someone who has faced gruesome combat is certainly a victim of a terrible experience, but his or her experience does not exempt him or her from their need of God’s forgiveness. But how amazing it is that we can bring them to a Savior who understands injustice and who knows what it is to be a victim.
Third, I graciously want to dethrone the soldier. I want him or her to know, “‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” There is so much bound up in these rich words undergirding God’s ultimate rule, his providence, his justice. As believers who face tremendous injustices throughout life these words must be woven into the fabric of our souls. We want justice now, we want vindication now, but the soldier must know the Lord works on a different time table – all will be made right.

Lastly, I want the love by which they have been loved in Christ to overflow to those around the person. By the unfathomable grace of God Louis Zamporini forgave his captors, even the Bird, and God can do the same thing for the soldier sitting across from you. Magnify for them the kindness, the patience, the mercy, the tenderness, the forgiveness, the grace, and the love of God in the face of Christ. John Piper’s Seeing and Savior Christ or Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die may be helpful homework for them to read. Press them to love the way they’ve been loved, specifically to memorize and recite to themselves 1 John 4:9-11.

In Short

The next time the combat vet is tempted to lash out it anger encourage them to walk away from the situation, physically calm down, remember what they have in Christ, rest in God’s ultimate authority, and respond by loving the way they have been loved.

“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” – 1 John 4:9-11

A Comrel is a community relations project where the marines and sailors volunteer to do community service projects in the country where they are docked.  It can be anything from giving medicine, dental work, to painting fences.  This one was done at The Father Ray Foundation in Thailand.  It is a place for orphans, disabled, and blind children to come to be cared for and learn how to live a good life.  Our marines painted fences and taught English to disabled children.

Feel free to observe some of the work from the YouTube video above or read about it from the links below.  You may need to copy and paste the links to see them.

http://www.usmc.mil/unit/31stmeu/Pages/Marineshelpdisabled,blindThaichildren.aspx

I ventured into the military ministry as a chaplain hoping to ignite a passion for our Lord Jesus Christ amongst our Marines and Sailors, but what I’ve encountered here is a devoted group of Marines and Sailors seeking to ignite a passion in me! The Lord is doing a great work out here. I say, “The Lord is doing a great work” because many of the believers with whom I interact have not necessarily had even a portion of the great Biblical teaching many of us may be use to having. These sweet believers simply love God’s Word and love their Savior, Jesus. In fact, their hunger to grow is addicting. Whenever I am willing to teach the Bible, they’re there. Whenever I am willing to talk about the cross, they listen.

As many of you know, I left Okinawa almost the minute we landed – at least it felt like that! I boarded the USS Germantown in support of the 31rst Marine Expeditionary Unit to sail into the sunset bound for various Asian countries to train and build national relations. Obviously, leaving my precious wife this time was one of the hardest things I have done in a long time: Would I be able to communicate with her? Would she be okay in a foreign land on her own? Will the Lord sustain our marriage? The burden was all too difficult for me, but as we know, the Lord is in the business of giving grace and strength in time of weakness. And he has. My wife becomes more precious to me as each day passes by.

The days are so extremely busy I have lost track of time. Before I know it I’m in bed again ready to end the day and start the next. My days are filled with counseling, Bible teaching, giving a defense of the faith, and figuring out how to navigate through a somewhat unfamiliar environment. The Marines and Sailors knock on my door at all times of the day with various issues, anything from manic depression to dealing with a death of a close relative. I love the privilege to be a conduit of God’s love to these men and women who come to see me. I listen, I weep, I rejoice, and I always seek to bring the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ to bear on their situation. What a fantastic opportunity!

Every night I hold Bible studies for whoever might come, sometimes one, sometimes ten. I teach expositionally, verse by verse, through various portions of Scripture as well as field their various Biblical questions. They love it. They are so faithful to come. They’re hungry – and sometimes they won’t leave!

I regularly walk around to the various work areas of the Marines to “shoot the breeze.” What often happens? They bring up a religious question “they’ve always wanted to ask.” I’ll find myself surrounded by four or five guys listening in as by God’s grace I give a defense of the faith. What a work the Lord is doing.

As I write this, I am sweating in the hot Thailand sun in the middle of no where under a make-shift tent surrounded by tanks driving by, jets flying over, artillery sounding off in the distance, and the hum of Marines chattering around me. I conducted my first “field” service this morning and will duplicate it tonight for the Marines who were on the riffle range all day. We sang Holy, Holy, Holy, and How Great is our God, read allowed the Apostles Creed, and I even found a Sailor who sang Before the Throne of God above as a solo. I preached from Matthew 1:18-25 on the Valentine that surpasses all Valentines, the God who lovingly sent his Son as a wrath-bearer for our sins!

I pray for you all and find myself holding you dearer each day in my heart. Being away from the comfort of sweet friends and family is hard, but we gather to depart and depart to gather, waiting for the blessed return of our Lord Jesus Christ.